Sick and tired of being sick and tired..

In my world these days, its always something. Either im sick or taking care of a sick loved one. I live my life one day at a time but at some moments in the day i just think is there even going to be a tomorrow? Me and my family just found out that my mom has cancer and its stage 4, and treatment isnt an option at this time, we found it to late. After my sister passed away i thought our lives were hard enough.. well apparently not, because god put this big rode block in the way again. Like i said ifs not one thing its another. I dont know what i would do if my mom passed away, shes my bestfriend, my mom, and most importantly my role model. Days go by and i just sit and think of what could happen at any minute in time.

Reality...

Reality, its a part of life. If you dont like welll.. get over it. I walk the halls of this thing we call school and it just makes me laugh how immature all these kids are. Then there are the students that are so full of themselves they have there head up there ass. It just amazes me how stupid some people are. Oh lets not forget about all the idiotic people that think fighting is the answer...WRONG douche bags, get the hell over yourself and get a life, maybe stop acting like a "gangster" and get a job while your at it.

days like these..

Days like these are the days that are suppose to be a fun, bright, cheery day, but unfortunately for me it goes to shit. Some people call it being bi-polar but others would just call it an off day. Welp theres my sob story for the day. CYA

colleges..

Well ive simple decided between colleges, i have narrowed it down to morningside, hastings, wayne, northeast, or UNK?! post or comment i need OPINIONS :)

days go by..

Not a single day goes by when i dont think about you, dream about you, or wonder what this life would of been like if you were here enjoying it with me. Life is so much harder without, and i just wonder if the life im living is even normal. With you being my guardian angel i know that any decision i make whether it be bad or good your right there on my shoulder protecting me and our family. Jacee i just wish you were here in person to play, laugh, joke around, and just to live life. But now you can do all of that stuff but just up in heaven. Jacee i love and miss you, and someday.. ill be with you :) love you

New car time..

what do get for a new car, i was really thinking like a bmw 325i xdrive, nissan altima, mazda 6, orrr ford fusion. comment please.

in loving memory...

A month ago on January 28th would of beem my sisters 1st birthday. She passed away last January 28th of Trisomy 18. She was my life, use to read her stories when she was in my moms stomach, so excited to finally have a sister. But that friday in the omaha hospital room was the most life changing news i will most likely hear. When i seen 2lbs 3 ounces jacee pearl with tubes in her mouth i started crying histerically and passed out, woke up in a hospital bed myself. Seeing something like that is just so terrifying and its something nobody should have to deal with. Knowing that most of the babies that have trisomy 18 are still born just makes me appreciate that we got to have her for 33 hours. Now because of gods great decision, i have a beautiful strong angel looking down on me and my family.

R.I.P, Jacee Pearl.
1/28/2011 <3

Hurt, its unexplainable.

Hurting, its never fun or painless. Sitting here thinking about what i did, and what i should have done is 2 different things but what do you do now that its over. I fight for what i want and believe that anything is possible if you just believe in god. 3 in a half years ago i thought i found the love of my life but now looking back to 3 months ago, it hurts because we were perfect (in my eyes) but apparently not, in her eyes im not worth anything anymore. God has taken over and is now just letting me enjoy life and live it to fullest because you only live once, Correct? Love is a strong word that could over power alot of things. So now dealing with it and moving on from it will  be the hardest part of it all.

Point of view, COMMENT..

Have you ever noticed that you go to first period do homework, sit at a desk, and write all damn period? Okay so 1st period is over and here comes 2nd period... same thing. BUT now here it is 3rd period phones out, ear phones on and posting blogs, now tell me how fun is this? Ha i see rowse is texting now :) im so glad we have at least 2 or 3 cool teachers in this school, other wise the rest of them just follow school policy, but who does that anymore these days.

The College Life..

Being a senior and only having 4 months of school left is stressful. You think so?! Not knowing where i am going just makes it even more stressful, and time consuming. The college life should be fun, exciting, and you know interesting ;) knowing that you are starting your future and am schooling for your future, your life time is actually kind of scaring at the same time.

I want my iphone back!!

Having an iphone is like the real life. Italy like on the outside looking in. Ms.rowse is a coolio Julio for having a iphone thats for sure!

I have just now typed my first blog because of Ms.Rowse my creative writing teacher! :)